These words are too often uttered by women. I think every woman I know has said something along these lines at least once.
As much as it an ‘old hat’ issue; whenever I hear someone say these things it makes me sad. Why do we hate ourselves so much? Is it a reflection of a misogynist society; does our society hate women so much it’s teaching us to hate ourselves?
I am reminded of the feminist classic ‘ Our bodies Ourselves’ and I feel that while we hate our bodies so much they cannot truly be ours; in addition to the constant public dissection of female bodies. We are trapped in a state of dissociation from our bodies.  We are just not at home in our bodies, we are not ourselves in our body. We are taught to hate them, to not be too familiar with them, to keep them in a way benefiting others with little thought for our own comfort.
I hate the way I hear every female I know express scorn and distaste for her own body. It makes me angry, it makes me deeply sad. These are our bodies, they carry us through life they are amazing wonderful things; why do we hate them so much? Why do we cover up our ‘problem’ areas with shame? Why do we cut ourselves open and insert bits of plastic? Inject toxic chemicals into our faces? Why do we never ever feel we are good enough as we are?
I hardly ever read women’s magazine, and flicking through a few the other day I realised why I stopped. This is only one small sample of a larger culture that seeks to shame women and our bodies. Every other page was dissecting a celebrity’s body, what they wore, how much they weighed, circles around bad skin, sweat patches, a stray hair. It is no coincidence that the majority of celebrities subjected to such treatment are women.
Even the ’serious’ media is guilty.  For example of all the articles on Michelle Obama I can recall many more focusing on her body and her wardrobe than those which highlight her considerable career achievements and intelligence. Female leaders are subject to scrutiny of their looks and ‘image’ far more than their male counterparts; they cannot win. If they show cleavage or legs they are ‘inappropriate’ yet if they cover up they are frumpy and ‘not making the most of themselves’.
It is a hideous double standard that shows how women are still regarded as having a purpose to look good to please men. How our bodies are never our own but held up for public scrutiny, especially if we dare deviate from the norm by being too thin, too fat, too short , too tall, too pale, too dark, too ugly, too pretty, too available, too un-avilable.
You can dismiss these pressure as just ‘in the media’ but when it saturates so deeply and is indeed borne out of attitudes already present in society; offering us a hideous magnified view of our own views and prejudices. I don’t read women’s magazines, I know this is all bollocks and I try my hardest to not let it get to me; yet sometimes it does. I wish I didn’t get a self esteem boost from someone saying how pretty I look, or asking me if I’ve lost weight. But I do. I wish I could be happy in my body all the time. I wish I didn’t look in a mirror and feel a sense of hatred and disappointment that I do not match some mythical ideal unobtainable without photoshop.

I wish I was at home in my skin instead of wondering if it’s too flabby, too pale, too spotty. Wondering if I need to slather it with make-up, fake tan and hoist it in with underwear that would do Isambard Kingdom Brunel proud before I am deemed ‘acceptable’ and presentable to the world.
I wish my body was myself. I wish my body was mine and I did not feel I was in front of judge, jury and executioner every time I walk out my front door.
I hate these pressures put upon me by society yet as I am part of society I feel unable to escape them. It’s no use telling us to just ignore all this stuff, that it doesn’t matter and to call us ’silly’ for ‘obsessing’ about weight and body issues.  We have it constantly thrown in our faces that we are defective, that we are in need of a magic potion and a nip and tuck; and all those attacks hurt. They damage our self esteem, they damage our mental health, they damage our physical health and it is not a trivial issue.